Helen Lee: Fashion, Life, and Learning » Joke

A Smart Parrot

ruohan — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 09:19:20 +0000

A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper. "And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires. "I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.

A joke

ruohan — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 08:24:49 +0000

A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I"ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.

Suddenly, a girl asked, “what did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

He bent and whispered to her, “Well, er…er…Miss Rose, er…he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening！”

Arriving Late

ruohan — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:19:06 +0000

Twice a year, we change the clocks to daylight saving time. And twice a year, my normally punctual assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why.

“Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?” I asked.
“Oh, no,” she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee.”What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock.”

Why does it have to be secret?

Lesishu — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:41:56 +0000

My mother taught for 11 years at a day-care center. One winter afternoon she was trying to show a young boy how to zip up his coat.

“The secret,” Mom said, “is to get this piece of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”

After struggling with the zipper for several minutes the boy sighed and said, “Why does it have to be a secret?”

How is business?

Lesishu — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:37:55 +0000

I became friendly with the fortune-teller, one of the more popular attractions at the amusement park where I worked.

One chilly, windy afternoon, I stopped to chat.

“How’s business?” I asked.

“Not good,” she said, “Only two customers had come by.” She then added, “If I’d only known things were going to be this quiet, I wouldn’t have bothered to open.”

A nice surprise

Lesishu — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:56:31 +0000

Recently my girlfriend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware store. “The owners don’t want us hanging out with our friends,” she said, “If you stop by, tell them you’re my brother.”

On my first visit, I walked to the customer service desk and asked the older woman there, “Is Karen around?” When she looked at me quizzically, I added, “I’m her brother.”

She smiled. “What a nice surprise! I’m Karen’s mother.”